There simply is no competition. Chalk loses unanimously to the LCD screen. I do not have a wi-fi connection, and you cannot plug headphones into me. I have no ringtone. Don’t speak in 160 characters or less. Facetime with me doesn’t stand a chance against an iPhone. So I stand there for hourly intervals, talking it seems to myself, because my dialogue with them inevitably is a monologue to an audience that has tuned me out. I’d love to give them reason to use those phones for something other than a slap in my face, but I’d be wrong, even if for once I got them to do something right. They won’t see it coming.